Wednesday, January 20, 2010
um...
sometimes I hate that my friends and family know where this is...even if they don't read it they might stumble upon it. That makes talking shit harder...just sayin's all...
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Just when you think someone gets it...
they go and prove you wrong...
Okay. So I can't say who this person is, but I will say that she knew me well when I was younger. However, she doesn't know me that well now. I will also say she knew my relationship with Kate to some extent but she only knew the back end (as in...mostly after she left and before she died...I mean like a year, maybe 2 before she died). I will admit that she was trying to get me to think, but she seems to think she knows what she's talking about and yet she really doesn't. It's funny that this was something that bothered me though. I guess I expected more from her since she supposedly knew how close Kate and I were. It seems to me that, because Kate wasn't my biological mother, I should maybe not feel the way I do about her death. Well here's a news flash for people...Just because you are adopted doesn't mean that the person who adopted you means any less than your biological parents - does it? EXACTLY...Kate didn't actually legally adopt me and I was 11 when she came like a whirlwind into my tiny little world. BUT that doesn't mean that I loved her any less than I love my biological parents. As a matter of fact I love my step-mommy and my step-sissy and my step-bro's like they are biological family damnit. I DO NOT believe that blood is thicker than water. With my whole heart I believe that love is thicker than blood...I loved and do love Kate like she was my mother. She was Mama Kate and she was my "soul mother". She taught me so many things and I owe her so much. It's not one of those things you can explain, but to try and compare it to a grandparent is just laughable (unless of course - your grandparents raised you - then I'm wrong). I was very very close with my grandfather (I lost him 1 year 3 months before Kate) and the way I felt and still feel about his death was extraordinarily different than the way I feel about Kate's. I love my mom's best friend, BG, like an auntie...a very close, very cool auntie (we lost her 1 year and 3 months after Kate). Yet I still feel very differently about her death than Kate's. You can't not feel differently about a woman who took you under her wing, called you the daughter of her heart, and raised you for 5 years with your parents and still played the distant mommy to you for another 4 years. She was as much a parent to me as my mom and dad...she and my parents and my step-mommy RAISED ME TOGETHER. It was a group effort and I love them all equally in different ways. If you put me in the position to choose between the death of any one of them and the other - I would NOT be able to choose...I would have to take myself. I have the best set of parental people a girl could ever hope to have. I don't know very many people who are lucky enough to have such a wide variety of family of choice. Hell, I don't know very many people who understand what family of choice is...so I'll break it down for those of you "not in the know". Family of choice = the family that you pick. It can be biological or non. You don't have to include everyone you are biologically related to, but you certainly can. It includes the closest of friends. These are the people that you know will be there no matter what...this is the family you'd have if God asked you to choose who you wanted to be your family. My family of choice includes a few actual biological family members, but it's mostly made up of friends that I love more than life itself. I don't want to name names, but I have this cousin...we'll call him TH...I don't like this guy and I wouldn't choose (if I had the choice) to be related to him. He's not in the family of choice. However, my pister (and bestie for 13 years) is my family....If I had to choose btwn the 2 of them...biology would lose...badly. Anyway enough for my rant...Happy New Year and long may you rave!
Okay. So I can't say who this person is, but I will say that she knew me well when I was younger. However, she doesn't know me that well now. I will also say she knew my relationship with Kate to some extent but she only knew the back end (as in...mostly after she left and before she died...I mean like a year, maybe 2 before she died). I will admit that she was trying to get me to think, but she seems to think she knows what she's talking about and yet she really doesn't. It's funny that this was something that bothered me though. I guess I expected more from her since she supposedly knew how close Kate and I were. It seems to me that, because Kate wasn't my biological mother, I should maybe not feel the way I do about her death. Well here's a news flash for people...Just because you are adopted doesn't mean that the person who adopted you means any less than your biological parents - does it? EXACTLY...Kate didn't actually legally adopt me and I was 11 when she came like a whirlwind into my tiny little world. BUT that doesn't mean that I loved her any less than I love my biological parents. As a matter of fact I love my step-mommy and my step-sissy and my step-bro's like they are biological family damnit. I DO NOT believe that blood is thicker than water. With my whole heart I believe that love is thicker than blood...I loved and do love Kate like she was my mother. She was Mama Kate and she was my "soul mother". She taught me so many things and I owe her so much. It's not one of those things you can explain, but to try and compare it to a grandparent is just laughable (unless of course - your grandparents raised you - then I'm wrong). I was very very close with my grandfather (I lost him 1 year 3 months before Kate) and the way I felt and still feel about his death was extraordinarily different than the way I feel about Kate's. I love my mom's best friend, BG, like an auntie...a very close, very cool auntie (we lost her 1 year and 3 months after Kate). Yet I still feel very differently about her death than Kate's. You can't not feel differently about a woman who took you under her wing, called you the daughter of her heart, and raised you for 5 years with your parents and still played the distant mommy to you for another 4 years. She was as much a parent to me as my mom and dad...she and my parents and my step-mommy RAISED ME TOGETHER. It was a group effort and I love them all equally in different ways. If you put me in the position to choose between the death of any one of them and the other - I would NOT be able to choose...I would have to take myself. I have the best set of parental people a girl could ever hope to have. I don't know very many people who are lucky enough to have such a wide variety of family of choice. Hell, I don't know very many people who understand what family of choice is...so I'll break it down for those of you "not in the know". Family of choice = the family that you pick. It can be biological or non. You don't have to include everyone you are biologically related to, but you certainly can. It includes the closest of friends. These are the people that you know will be there no matter what...this is the family you'd have if God asked you to choose who you wanted to be your family. My family of choice includes a few actual biological family members, but it's mostly made up of friends that I love more than life itself. I don't want to name names, but I have this cousin...we'll call him TH...I don't like this guy and I wouldn't choose (if I had the choice) to be related to him. He's not in the family of choice. However, my pister (and bestie for 13 years) is my family....If I had to choose btwn the 2 of them...biology would lose...badly. Anyway enough for my rant...Happy New Year and long may you rave!
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